HUNDRED EYES

I have this thing when I go to bars. I hunt for the gayest drink on the menu. Excuse the term, but you know what I mean: the kind of drink no self-proclaimed alpha male would dare touch. Sure, I love beer and the occasional whiskey-and-cola, but sometimes I want a drink that makes people cringe just by looking at it.

It’s the same reason that at North Park, I’ll order chrysanthemum iced tea. I don’t even like it that much, but the sheer audacity of holding that glass while everyone else downs anything else but that is priceless.

So last Saturday, my friends and I hit up After Hours to answer the age-old question: Why the hell aren’t we drinking on a dry, carefree night? I was rocking my “Marcio Lassiter” hair (although most people say it’s giving sumo wrestler vibes or Taro Sakamoto from Sakamoto Days) and scanning the menu when one friend pointed out a drink called Hundred Eyes. It is basically a pineapple scramble with booze in it.

I went for it.

It's basically a pineapple scramble with alcohol.

And… yeah. Not for me. I get why some people would like it. It’s tropical, it’s sweet, it’s pretty. But again, not for me. The pineapple flavor completely hijacked whatever alcohol was hiding in there. The two decorative leaves also bugged me.

Of course, I still finished it. But next time, I am sticking to drinks that taste like they want to be drinks, not desserts in disguise.