I don’t know how to record CS: GO matches without turning on my editing software.

But just take my word.


So I went online at around 7:30 pm (Manila time) and the map was Office. The map is basically advantageous to terrorists because they have the hostages deep in their lair.

My friends can attest to this… but I am a crappy Counterstrike player. I don’t know how to aim and all of my plays are to rush the opponent and see if his bullets are no match... for my existence.

It doesn’t help that I love playing counter-terrorist.

Needless to say, I became the MVP four times. I am putting this out because I too, was shocked, with this tasty factoid.

I finished the match with seven kills and four deaths… but for some reason… I was able to rescue the hostage three times and eliminate the final terrorist once.

I went like "B. F. Skinner" on the course. If you don’t know who Skinner is, he’s a psychologist who made the rat mazes famous. Back in college, we used to trap hamsters in mazes to see if they are smart enough to get out of it. And then when the hamsters finish the maze, we give them gin and let them do the maze again. When they got drunk, the hamsters slowed down… but I guess they just end it ten seconds slower.

Anyway, I was running the course as if I was a mouse. I rush the farthest part of the office building entrance and then let my teammates die or eliminate the initial wave of terrorists before swooping in. Then I would employ my bag of tricks – throwing a concoction of grenades to piss off the enemy. And then, I would rush to secure the hostage… and run like hell to my base.

I kind of solved how Office works.

The rest of the hostage-based maps… are a different story.

I think Italy is too complicated for hostage rescues and while Agency is a good map, it has choke points. I think Militia is doable… but it depends on how the terrorists operate and how brave your teammates are. I usually go through the tunnels but then you are susceptible to either get death when you go upstairs. You can always rush the terrorist’s house but then you need to be prepared from all the snipers sitting pretty on the roof.

It’s kind of hard to MP9 a person in the face if they are holding sniper rifles.

Anyway, I get a kick from doing the mission objectives now. When I was in college, I used to reset my stats in frustration because I can’t hit the opponents like most of my friends do but now I just want to break the opposing team’s defenses.

If I’m a counter-terrorist playing a hostage rescue map, I try to check out the best means to get the hostages. If I’m playing a bomb site map, I would just sit idly and defend the moment the person carrying the C4 dies. I mean… I can just defend with the objective in mind and let the clock run out. If I’m a terrorist in a hostage rescue map, I would just run around the vicinity of the hostages and go to where the action is. If it’s a bomb site map, I would just go where the people are and hope that the one carrying the bomb is with us.

I guess getting a better laptop is a good idea. I use CS: GO to de-stress myself when work is getting the better off me and at times it works. I would run one stage after lunch and then do work-related things right after.

Plus it keeps me sane from all the ridiculousness of the world.

Get Sydrified.

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