TOP 10 | WORST PUREFOODS/MAGNOLIA MONIKERS

Updated: Jun 20




A name has to be iconic and intimidating. The San Miguel Beermen name is an example of having an iconic name that sends shivers to its enemies. Ginebra Kings is so-so but if you add "Barangay" at the start, it becomes an institution of never-say-die awesomeness. As for former teams, Alaska Aces may be intimidating but they are equally scary if they just remained the grand slam force that is the Alaska Milkmen.

Also, who can ever forget the Crispa Redmanizers? When you look at the team, the last thing you'd think about is the definition of a Redmanizer (a cotton shirt) because you're probably amazed at their ammunition (two grand slams and five PBA MVPs).


I get it - the PBA is created for corporations to sell their brands. Purefoods Hotdogs is a hell of a name. Up to this day, this iconic name is what we remember from the franchise. Just imagine if Tim Cone had the Purefoods brand instead of the B-MEG or the San Mig Coffee handle during their grand slam run? Oh, and yeah, the B-MEG Llamados, San Mig Coffee Mixers, Coney Island Ice Cream Stars, and even Star/Magnolia Hotshots by themselves are awesome team names.


The thing that pisses me off about their name is the add-ons. As I mentioned, I know they are selling their merch but it's hard to remember a name if it hits a lot of things.



SAN MIG SUPER COFFEE MIXERS (2013-14)


I know the San Mig Coffee won a grand slam using this moniker. I just have to know - what's so "super" about their coffee and how is this name different from the San Mig Coffee Mixers brand they carried a season prior?


There is nothing really wrong with the name. I just needed to have ten things on this list. Also, I tried their "super" coffee once and I just didn't feel the difference between the "non-super" version.



PUREFOODS STAR HOTSHOTS


Technically, there is nothing bad with this name. I just hate the fact that the presentation of the team is all over the place. Why combine Purefoods' blue colors and Star's yellow trademark? And can anyone see the word "hotshots" without flinching their eyes?



B-MEG DERBY ACE LLAMADOS (2010-11)


Again, it's hard to blame the company for selling its brand. In hindsight, there is nothing wrong with the name as well - except probably that there is already an "Ace" in the PBA when they arrived. The reason why it's here is that nobody said "Derby Ace" when they are thinking of the squad. B-Meg Llamados, its shortened name version, became the team's official team name up until they change into the San Mig Coffee Mixers.



PUREFOODS CORNED BEEF COWBOYS (1997)


Actually, the Cowboys moniker suits the team. I am not even going to go "dirty boy mind" with this name because how on earth can Purefoods Corned Beef continue the "Hotdogs" moniker. I guess this is just me, back when I first saw their uniforms. Again, while Alaska has been mimicking the Chicago Bulls jerseys and E. Cow is probably one of the best mascots ever, I thought the team missed the mark by having a cow or a cowboy in their logo. I mean years later, they will use a hotdog sportscar (with a face) as their logo. So what's up with having a ball with a cowboy hat? Really, Purefoods has had a lot of crappy logos and names.



PUREFOODS CHUNKEE GIANTS (2005-07)


In 2005, Purefoods Corned Beef made its PBA comeback with the franchise surrendering its popular blue color and their popular hot dog sportscar logo (with a face). I am actually a fan of this Purefoods phase because I think this is the first season they are playing without Alvin Patrimonio and this was the time of Purefoods' superb lineup comprising James Yap, Kerby Raymundo, Marc Pingris, Roger Yap, Peter June Simon, and Paul Artadi and Rey Evangelista as their guns off the bench. But what the hell is a "Chunkee"? I was deep in thought if the "Chunkee" name became popular back then or if there was a time when they should have established it, but the only Purefoods Corned Beef look I remember is the packaging they still have today. What is wrong with Purefoods Corned Beef Giants, anyway? I get that brands need to do something to make one thing their own but while I can still remember Marquin Chandler rocking the jersey, I question the name here.



PUREFOODS TENDER JUICY GIANTS (2007-10)


I guess there is a reason why I'm not mad about the Tender Juicy name. For starters, abbreviating it to TJ stops the person to write "Tender Juicy" before their moniker. Putting it in front of the jersey though, that's a different story. Again, maybe I have a dirty mind here... but it is what it is. Why subject a team as the league's version of a phallic symbol? The PBA 3X3 version of the squad is called Titans and I am not dissing the team. Actually, I applaud the name. With that said, at the same time, I hate the "Giants" name. Why can't they just go with Hotdogs? The name is iconic and it represents their main brand best!



MAGNOLIA PAMBANSANG MANOK HOTSHOTS


I don't really hate the Pambansang Manok tag. If you check out American football and baseball teams, there are a lot of American Indian names that the definition bug as out. Magnolia Pambansang Manok is pretty much their version of "Barangay" Ginebra or Red Bull "Barako". Actually, this separates Purefoods' "Magnolia Chicken" version from San Miguel's "Magnolia Beverage" version. But then, why still put the Hotshots tag, though? They could have gone with either Magnolia Pambansang Manok or Magnolia Hotshots. In the end, newspapers, on-air news reports, and online sports sites are just ignoring the Pambansang Manok tag because of space constraints. Even if you check out their jerseys, the Pambansang Manok text is virtually unreadable.



PUREFOODS CARNE NORTE BEEFIES (1997-98)


Wow. This uniform brings me back. Again, I am all for brands to flaunt their products. Actually, I am all good with the whole Carne Norte name. As far as branding, this name gets it. What I hate though is the moniker. What the hell is a Beefie? Yes, I know it's supposed to be the macho factor of the squad but disregarding this boss photo of EJ Feihl, Jerry Codinera, and Sonny Cabatu, it's a total 180 of what the team is all about. I thought the team is all about wholesome, non-Masculados imagery with Alvin Patrimonio, Codinera, and Dindo Pumaren being the team's perfect representatives? It's like the 90s version of Jolina Magdangal - who once served as muse for the squad - to all of a sudden make her "Chuvachoochoo" song become Baywalk Bodies-like. It doesn't make sense... and Purefoods Carne Norte Cowboys for me is the better team name.



MAGNOLIA CHICKEN TIMPLADOS HOTSHOTS



This is the reason why I made this blog. Again, I understand the deal with the Pambansang Manok tag. However, why do I feel that if San Miguel and Ginebra have baller PBA names, Magnolia is stuck as being a corporate shill? I've said this at the start - what if Tim Cone coached the team to a grand slam carrying the Purefoods banner? I know they can say that Purefoods can sell by itself but so can Magnolia. Oh yeah, we are talking about the Magnolia Chicken Timplados here... which makes things worse. The team can just become the Magnolia Chicken Timplados and the blogs and sports news have no choice but to put "Timplados" on their write-ups. Instead, I have seen a lot of blogs still using "Hotshots" because it's really a better and more established moniker.


I just realized that TNT Tropang Giga is another questionable moniker. Whenever I see the word Giga, I instantly remember Potato Corner.


Anyway...



PUREFOODS OODLES (1993)